group

I drove home last night so upset and disappointed with the group therapy.
So much so that I took about three wrong exits – which alone is alarming.
I went into it very positively, especially after reading Yalom’s book, and came away completely questioning the authority and judgement of the therapist. And also of the group. If group is supposed to be a social microcosm where you test out your behavior, then does the superficiality and dumbness of it reflect the world in which I’m doing it [Miami?]. Is all group therapy doomed to be stupid and unchallenging here?

The real stuff happened out in the parking lot, where I approached this woman in the group who was being ignored for some reason that evening. She’s the only one, that I can see, who has a high level of awareness and understanding of her condition and is on mark with articulating her feelings, and in responding to others. I’m most sympathetic to her, and I was disturbed by how her issue was constantly sidestepped by the therapist, and wanted to know if there was something she wanted to say.
In short, her issue was quite important, a traumatic event that had happened the week before, that should have been discussed, especially in light of all the dumb chitchat and extraneous items that ensued, apparently with no control, under a therapist who couldn’t or wouldn’t rein in the superficial.
And then all these questions came up - about why D. was ignored 3,4 times? does the therapist feel in competition with D? is it because she’s no longer coming in for private therapy? Is it because the traumatic incident is related to something the therapist has an interest in only speaking positively about?

For me, the real value of this kind of therapy would be to express my disappointment, what specifically I found problematic, and what I want to be getting out of it. The real test for me would be whether I could challenge the group, directly and critically, not be afraid to be crashing the party of a limp and bland group of cheerleaders, which may even include the therapist. But these are not the brightest or strongest people, as far as I can tell. How would they take it? And there’s the therapist and her ego. It could completely blow up in my face. Fuck them. This is my time and money. It’s all of our time and money, we all may as well get something out of it.